This weekend Mama went away on retreat for the first time since James was a baby. It was a long needed get away. It was so refreshing and Mama hopes she was come back a much better wife and mother.
On retreat the priest gave at least twelve mediation, there were a few talks, and spiritual direction. We had mass daily, prayed the rosary, the way of the cross, and much more. The food is amazing and not only because I didn't have to make it. Thomas was loved on by all the women around him and mama had a few breaks to pray! Mama and Thomas made friends while on retreat and as got to caught up with old friens. Refreshed with resolutions to work on over the new few weeks or the rest of my life.
The beautiful grounds at Arnonld Hall.
When I got home I got to see the injury James got while Mama was away. Poor guy fell off a bike speeding (well racing a 4 year old) down a hill.
While Mama was away she wrone letters for the family. One of the fun things about the letters are that they have facts about ther retreat!
My Beautiful Adriana,
Mama is thinking of you on my retreat. Thomas misses you but right now he has his friend MaMurph here pushing him in his car. I was at mass this morning remembering how amazing it is that you can receive Our Lord now. Whenever I think of my garden I think of how you are probably watering it and tending for maple seeds. I think of my garden often here because there are also beautiful rhododendron bushes all around.
I was thinking of you again today during our lunch. We are listening to Fulton Sheen a bishop from the 50’s talk about his life. He was talking about his own life and how his parents were strict, like yout parents. Mama and daddy love and as Bishop Sheen recalled from his own life his parents helped him to build character and make him a better person. This is Mama and daddy’s goal for you. I am sorry for becoming too angry and overreacting sometimes. I do not like shouting or spanking you but sometimes spankings are necessary and shouting too sometimes to get you attention. I do demand obedience out of love.
It is Saturday morning and I just want to start my day off saying “I love you.” I am so thankful to God for you my darling daughter. After the first meditation this morning I realized I need to struggle more against my bad habits and to be a better example for you. The struggle will be hard but it will help both of us get to heaven. I would like to be more like Our Lord in discipline, He does not yell or shout but He does spank and give other consequences.
It is now Saturday afternoon and by this time tomorrow I will be back home with you. I was just chatting with another mother who has nine grown children. I was telling her how sometimes I get really angry and shout. I told her my beautiful daughter gets yelled at the most. This was her response: “It seems really hard to be the oldest because you have some much responsibility but bur being the oldest really does have its perks.” You get to help mama and daddy to start the traditions for our family. You are able to have friends eat over and come over to play. You were the first to make you First Holy Communion. You can carry Thomas around the house. It really can be fun to be the oldest even if you have responsibility to go along with the perks.
Now it is Sunday morning after breakfast. I spoke with you less than an hour ago. You are a beautiful young girl and I love you. I want to remind you how much as I have throughout this letter to you, mama and daddy depend on your obedience. I hope that you were helpful to daddy this weekend. We do not want to shout at you, as I mentioned earlier but we need you to help us not to yell by being obedient and doing the things we ask the first time. We also need you to ask it you don’t understand and always ask if anything else needs to be done before you go and play. You will be rewarded greatly by God for you immediate obedience.
I am going to end now and will see you in a few short hours. I love you immensely you darling daughter.
My Dear James,
While out with Our Lord and Thomas this morning I thought of you. The wind was blowing and it reminded me of how much you have wanted to fly a kite. I Hope Mama can take you to fly one soon.
Again, I thought of you at my confession when Fr. Sal said sometimes being a mom is a thankless job. You are always so thankful and I think you learned it from your big sister, Adriana, because she also is very thankful. I thank God and am grateful also to God for our family gratitude. Thank you my sweet little man for always so being grateful and using those two words which mean so much, “Thank you.”
My Sweet Little James, I loved hearing your voice last night. You are so precious. Fr. Sal gave an awesome example of Heaven’s ride at meditation this morning and I wanted to share it with you. We were recently talking about Heaven so I found this as a fit for you. Fr. Sal said “God gives us all a ticket to Heaven but some of us have a stop on our way. We need to stop to be purified (cleaned) in Purgatory. While still others of us get derailed and end up in hell. I hope for all of my children, including you my sweet James, to go to Heaven with maybe a stop in Purgatory.
My sweet little man, I did not get to talk to you or your sister today, it made me sad but I know you are doing well and God is watching over you. Daddy did say you ended up at the hospital today because you were having so much fun riding fast on a bike and split your lip open. I am grateful your guardian angel was there to protect you from more damage. I only wish I was there to pick you up and kiss you. My heart aches for you my sweet little man.
My retreat is coming to an end and I am so glad I am here renewing my commitment to Our Lord but cannot help my desire to want to see you once again. I Love you my sweet little man.
Love with all my heart,