March 5, 2008

The Birth of James Raphael

James Raphael Niall!!! 10 lbs 10 oz
This has been really hard to start. I have been thinking about it for a little over a month now. I guess it is time to put it into writing.
The best part is that I went into labor on Tuesday night. At about midnight my contractions where about one minute apart and lasting about a 1 to 1 1/2 minutesaso I agreed, against my better judgement, to meet the midwife at the hospital.
We arrived at the hospital, after dropping Adriana off at the Murphy's house, at about 1:00 am on Wednesday morning. The midwife examined me and I was still only 1 cm dilated and 50% or so effaced. Ofcourse they didn't want to send me home. I started doing everything I was supposed to walking, dancing, squitting, breathing, and all the rest. Our doula got there and helped keep us going. Then they moved us from the triage room to the labor and delivery room.
Shortly after the move about 5am my labor had stopped progressing. I was having contractions by they were father apart and my contraction hadn't done anything because when the next midwife came in at 8:30 and checked me I was only at 1 1/2 - 2 cm. I had labored pretty hard in the begining so i was pretty mad that I hadn't dilated more but I go over it quick on just kept walking. By 10:30 the midwife was asking what I was going to do next. I was so tired because I hadn't slept since 6:00 am the day before. We discussed my options and again against me better judgement we decided to break my water.
About 11:00 am after a short nap the midwife broke my water. I again started to labor hard. Contractions were 1 1/2 minutes apart lasting about 45 second - 1 minute. Then we continueing to walk the floor and squatting. The nurses all over the floor were amazed but I was determined. Then again about 3 hours later my labor started to stall. My contraction were shorter and farther apart. My midwife asked what I was going to do. I said I would continue to walk. She decide she would give me a little more time. Not much long later still nothing was happening, (mind you baby is being monitored every 15 minutes because I'm diabetic. Baby is doing great. I'm fine) but so some reason the are in a rush to get me to have this baby. I kept asking why the rush? What are the worried about? Really they had no good answers. I just left the room and walked with Michael.

I knew all they wanted to to was cut me open. Sorry to be so graphic but that is what they had been trying to get me to do for weeks. I was so upset so of course by this point I was never going to progress in the hospital. I really wanted to leave. Stephaine, our doula, asked the midwife a bunch of question and (as far as I'm considered) they could not give her any good answers either. By 4:00 or 4:30pm we were sitting in the labor and delivery room talking about truly why they could not let me sleep for a while, I have been up for 36 hours at that point, and then let me labor. Can you believe that she actually told me it was because the doctors time has almost up, PLUS the really needed the room. (There were tons of babies being born.) She said I could sleep for 2 hours, what good was that suposed to do me. I WAS SO ANGRY!!!! My hands were tied I let them break my water. What was I supposed to do? All I wanted to do was leave the hospital. I just cried and cried. I had to concent in letting them cut me.
I went into the operating room. They had me sign all these papers of consent. The anestilogist numbed me but all I could fell was them pulling on my stomach. I was cold. I was ANGRY. I didn't want to be there. I'm crying just remembering it. I wanted this baby more than anything but I didn't want the baby this way. I told them to stop. I wasn't going to do. I wanted my husband. I demanded they bring my husband to me. They stopped and although they weren't ready Michael came into the room. I told him I could never do this again. I was TOTALLY FREAKING OUT!!!! He started to pray with me. MARY came to my side and I was able to move on.
Then it happened. I could hear the baby's little cry. Daddy said so only mama could hear "It's a boy!!!!" James Raphael!!! Mama said she wouldn't cry this time but I did. It's a boy. I was so happy. Thank you God.
They were taking bets around me about the size of the baby. All I could think was bring him to me. I want to see him. Stop procrasticing. Daddy did get to go see James and finally he brought James to me. I truly fell in love. I loved just like his sister, Adriana, did when I first saw her. The red endless fat cheeks so adorable you want to suck them up. All I wanted to do was hold him but ofcourse I still could not yet. I justkept kissing him. Finally I did get to hold him.
Next we wheel James and me into the recovery room to start nursing. All you could here coming from James was sucking noise he was hungry. He latched like a pro and just sucked. My nursing baby. I had my baby so you would think that was the end of the trama.

Now when we get to the room they have to do blood sticks to make sure his blood sugar is not to low. It is normally low in big babys, did I mention he was 10 lb 10 oz. He blood sugar was low. They wanted to give him formula. I refused. They brought down the doctor because they thought I was being unreasonable. She tried to scare us into giving him formula. I compromised first be saying on sugar water. They didn't like that idea because is would only bring his blood sugar up and then it would fall low again. Then I said only with a measuring dropper. They said that was impossible. I said well then too bad. Then they decided to try it, they talked to the laction consultant who said they did it all the time. She came in and showed us how to do it. We gave him the silly formula in 5 cc incraments. He was fine but believe it or not, not from the formula that made his blood sugar go really high and then drop again (remember what they said about the sugar water, lol). He was fine because he was a nursing pro. Then the nurse came in and said make the doctor wanted me also to let you know that we don't want the baby to sleep in the bed with you. Be sure you put him the the bassinet when you are finished nursing him. Did she forget I was just cut open and really couldn't move, especially because I was hooked up to all the crazy gadgets. Needless to say I didn't sleep that night. I was up ever time a nurse waked in because I thought they were going to take him out of my bed. Luckily they didn't.
It was such a suffering for me. I never want to go through that again. But thank you God for the beautiful baby boy. Yes, I want more babies but I never WANT to be cut again. Hopefully I never will have to be cut again. It was very tramatic for me even worse than with Adriana.
I know it was really long but I really needed to write about the birth. Thanks for reading.
Fianlly, thank you to our doula Stephanie she was the best.

1 comment:

doulasteph said...

Hi Niall Family.
Thanks so much for the beautiful pictures! You are all gorgeous...I miss your enormous energy and drive, Adrianne. SOrry for the delay, I never saw an email from you, so I had no idea you were inquiring about this, although I knew, in the back of my mind that I have to finish your birth report and send it out to you...
This documentation is perfect because it is your experience. I am so sorry that it turned out the way it did for you. I wish we could turn back the clocks and make different choices, starting with heading to the hospital when we did.
I had no idea of the struggles you faced after I left, too. Next time, it's straight to Nancy:-)for you LOL. And maybe hold off on the oil for the next birth, too...just be patient and let it happen. With Nancy, there wouldn't be any pressure to induce or deadlines to meet.
The whole experience was stressful for me and for you. I wanted to do everything I could to help you, and tried, and for you because they intervened way too much and hovered like vutlures. I do feel that your main midwife was really trying, but the people around her weren't in the same mind frame.
I wrote up your birth report and then wanted to sit on it for a while to make sure that I included everything, so as promised, I will get it to you:-) Hopefully, before James' first birthday, that would be nice!
I remember that you also tried other induction techniques like the nipple stim and stripping the membranes before breaking the water (I'd have to look at my notes to be sure).
I hope this helps close the loop and fills out your experience. In the end, you had a beautiful and healthy baby, so I hope that your joy heals your disappointment.
Sending hugs to all of you!
With love and fondness, stephanie